attempt to write again.

Everytime i start writing i abandon it. does it mean i
have nothing to say? has the education system finally got the better of me??! i think i take the easy way out. it's easy if you don't express you don't have to spend time trying to prove anything. The blank
...façade helps, no one knows what you are actually feeling inside. It gives me a sense of power to know what the other person is thinking. When I finally found a way to blend in... the blanket around me is being whipped away, I feel the cold wind again.

Nothing to worry about I’m sitting here, sandy sweating,
and feeling guilty for a mistake I might
have made which decided the fate of others. When the emotion subdues the façade
will be back.

....

i'm bored. i give up. it'll be easier if i don't struggle. i can't put up with the constant fighting. i'll be just another seed stored away without exploiting my potential to grow. if i never become anything, then they can't be blamed right??

Plight of the College Going Girl

a new transition, a new change, a new environment (!!!!), and a new oppertunity to supposedly prove myself. this is also supposed to be the most important step i take into my life.this decision of mine is going to govern the path the rest of my life is going to take. freaky isn't it? like Led Zeppelin sang " Yes, there are two paths you can go byBut in the long run Theres still time to change the road youre on".
School to college... so many differences, getting picked on for my casualness and me posture which oozes 'disrespect' to the teacher( apparently). getting up everytime and chorusing a 'good morning' or ' thank you'. apparently what you put on is more important than what you are.
THe old speaker in every room that crackles to life in the mornings to tell us a moralistic story and ends with a prayer. the canteen hit by waves of girls during break time.
the least expected surprise which hit me really hard, are my english classes. this surprise is not good surprise! the classes are pathetic. We did "Cabulliwalah for god's sake and my teacher asks the meanings for every word in the story, like prattle and sturdy!!!!!! Seriously if they were gonna randomly put us into some "English for dummies" class, why did they make us write that stupid essay about some life changing experience.

English is one of my biggest problems, the other one is my HOD but anyway. i feel dumbed down because of the class. Not even a blackcurrant iced tea or a cold coffee can fix this brain damage. the worst she makes weird noises... like when she is explaining a hissing sound or the slashing of water????
For someone who has been doing Shakespeare since class 10 this is hell. i never thought i'd ever say this but something more advanced is needed!!!

Revelations by the Lazy One

Revelation 1 - Yes I'm Lazy!
Well most of you who know me a little might not think I'm lazy, here is to prove me right.

i don't finish most of the things i start! Eg. recently an senior of mine with all due respect and good intention asked me if i would and could write an article for her on what is organic!. you might ask why her,but I'm considered an somewhat expertise at this subject due to a very extensive Environmental Science(E.S) project i did in my last year at school. Back to the point, it's saved on my external hard-disk with tattered hopes of completion someday. ( for my sake i hope it's soon!!! SORRY SAM!!!)

i push my chores (and i'm not talking about household stuff here) till the last minute possible that i even loose out on some opportunities... fine i'll say it don't nag me I still haven't applied to any college!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(i am not sure these exclamations are enough to show the hullabaloo) i plan to do this on monday. i postpone every thing from doing my laundry, to going somewhere.
i should tell you that the the only things i don't postpone are: eating :) , laughing, reading, sitting in front of my computer, and watching stuff. You would have been surprised because i didn't list physical activity or games above... cause you and i know i love playing. the thing is i can't get myself to do anything regularly... (Now tell me how sad am i???? )
Till date there is not one assignment ( except for my chem records once and my e.s work) i have submitted before due date.

Consistency is just not in my dictionary. i don't stick to schedules. i don't have an agenda. i don't plan. irregularity seems to be my sleep and wake up routine.

So looking back at the past four years of my life i can see i have gone from lil lazy to completely drowing in lazyness... and here is to change and people who are trying to get a grip of their life; trying to be independant; trying to change and trying to get into a decent college ;P

this is more of ranting isn't it????

Adios

P.S there are has been a couple af very concerning issues i've been wanting to write about for the past two days... will do it asap!! :D keep reading and enjoy

Rock for a Cause - Blue Light Daze

Blue Light Daze : (from left to right) Vijay, Siddartha, Naren, Siddarth.

Blue Light Daze, a band consisting of 5 members (Siddarth Krishnan – Lead Guitarist, Naren Weiss – Lead Singer, Siddartha Mandaikar – Rhythm Guitar, Kashyap Jaishankar – Bassist, and Vijay Gopalakrishnan – Drummer) played a charity show , last Saturday, for an organization called The Banyan. The Banyan is a shelter and transit home for homeless woman for mental illness, who had wandered from their homes and wandered into the streets. They were asked to play to raise money for The Banyan and they agreed.

They involved themselves with enormous amount of energy to make this show happened. Their bassist unfortunately had previous commitments and couldn’t make it for the show, so the rhythm guitarist, to many peoples surprise, played the bass lines. He also managed to keeps the kids entertained by striking up the Pink Panther theme. They played a mix of originals and covers. Their performance was estimable and entertaining. The audiences were not bored or indifferent but highly involved like clapping with the drum beats or even rhythmic movements.

Blue Light Daze : Siddartha rapping.

Of the songs played “We will rock you “ by The Queens was well received by the older section of the audience, with energetic singing. “Feel Good” by the Gorillaz had the kids present imitating the laughter long after it got over. The Blue Light Daze even switched instruments to make up for the missing member. Naren’s effort on the bass and Siddartha rapping Feel Good were pretty commendable. There cover of Metallica’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls” was a high energy number. Their drummer Vijay managed to break both his drum sticks due to his frantic and cadenced drumming which kept the energy boosted.

They played a few own compositions, my favorite ones were Skeleton and Tempress, their sound check was pretty funky. The one detriment was that sometimes the singing was not very audible like the words of “For Whom the Bells Tolls” were lost in many parts and so was the chorus of Tempress.

Overall it was a good show. More important than all this is that they refused to take money for the show and donated it back to The Banyan. Maybe others can take a leaf out of their book and support an organization or the other. They managed to raise Rs. 40,000 for The Banyan. Siddarth at the end of it was heard claiming loudly that he felt “like a socially useful person”. Once again good show!!!

Sangeetha

September trip... learnings....random events etc

I'd say after auroville this is the best trip in my life till now (i started writing this before the december trip.. i still consider the trip to auroville the best.....it's one of those late published blogs...).

i saw and learned a great many things. we visited anandwan, hemalkasa, vidharbha...met Muralidhar Devidas "Baba" Amte, Shadhanai Thai, Vikas amte, Prakash Amte, the locals of vidharbha and people in anandwan. Since the trip is very valuable i thought i'd write an travel log kind of a thing so that i never forget it. i also decided to write because it saves the time i'd have to spend repeating the happenings of the trip to the people who want to know.
well here it goes.....

day 1 28th sept - well nothing much to write about as i pretty much didn't do anything other than eat and sleep. well over night train journeys don't go very well with me as i tend to wake up every half an hour or so. the train made me sick of waving to people. i waved everytime it moved then it stopped again, finally we left the station, the train was 15 minutes late.
after extensive singing of English,Hindi, and Tamil songs we were asked to sleep.

Day 2 29th sept - i woke up at 5.30 in the morning. i just looked outside when i heard something and looked below my berth to find find alex sitting up. then we took a small walk till the end of the coach then came back.. in a few minutes swati woke up ( lol must have heard alex!! :D ) then slowly everyone woke up. At about 7 we had our first trip culture and all i remember is sitting squashed on the upper with sheetal and kartik! i drowsed off and was woke up by someone at about 8.45 with breakfast! (pongal and vada yukk) then got of the train and took the bus to anandwan, warora from chandrapur. the long walk inside anandwan to reach our rooms gave me an picture of it. after freshing up we went down to have lunch and after that we met vikas amte who spoke to us about his dad, himself...anandwan 50 years ago and also about his work in vidharbha now. then we went to visit BABA AMTE himself. we saw him through a glass window. it pained me to see someone who did so little for himself and so much for the other suffer. as i stood there stunned, i let a few silent tears roll down my cheeks without realization. we visited sadhana thai she was about to start speaking to us when interrupted by a group of old ladies. we left heading back to the place where we were lodged....

(after trying to write a day by day entry i gave up because it was getting very long... so this is just bits and pieces that stuck with me... so less nonsense to read!!! )

let's see what do i remember of this trip?

the bug infestation is the first thing that hits my mind every time i think about the trip.... (which in a way is very sad because the trip had much more to it...) one day, if i am not wrong the second or the third night of our stay there, we came back from dinner to find that these weird little black bug had taken over our rooms. They were simply everywhere and there were thousands and thousands of them along with other bugs who were a minority...

It was kind of funny how 'silly little bugs' which are otherwise ignored, make a difference when they come in great numbers... maybe it's a strategy all of us can learn from them ....
it made the guys go haywire in the next room.... they were haphazardly attacking everything in the room... Siddarth was screaming, stomping on the bugs and trying to sweep them out at the same time.... Alex on the other hand took it as a competition and was desperately trying to sweep the bugs out first. it was comical and the hundreds of lives crushed and families ruined went unnoticed because man had succeeded once again in eliminating competition.. something he considered a threat, thus proving himself above these creatures... (more to come...)

Protest against Dow Chemicals- citi center 3rd december

as the tittle suggest there was a protest held against Dow chemicals which currently occupies a office in the 6th floor of Citi Center, Mylapore. This being my first protest and stuff it's a personal statement for myself then comes the other factors. i felt like i actually had some power over what was happening around me.

Below is the petition:

To: The Management of Citi Center

Mylapore, Chennai

3 December, 2007

Sir/Madam:

Today is the 23^rd anniversary of the 1984 Bhopal disaster. People in Bhopal are still suffering from the long-term effects of the disaster. Union Carbide has abandoned several thousand tons of toxic wastes in Bhopal. These wastes have entered the groundwater. People drinking the groundwater are now experiencing a whole range of health effects and children born of parents exposed to the poisonous drinking water are being born with severe disabilities.

In 1992, Union Carbide was declared an absconder for having failed to honour summons to appear in a criminal case relating to the disaster. In 2001, Union Carbide was taken over by Dow despite warnings by Bhopal survivors and their supporters about Carbide’s lingering liabilities in Bhopal. Now, Dow and its subsidiary have refused to take any responsibility for the clean-up of the Bhopal site or for medical assistance for the people affected by the gas or contaminated water. About 80 percent of the people affected belong to minority and marginalized working class communities.

In 2007, Dow Chemical was fined $300,000 by the US agency Securities Exchange Commission for having paid more than Rs 80 lakhs in bribes to Indian officials to register three pesticides, including one that was banned in the US. Dursban, the banned pesticide, affects the brain development in young children.

Besides sheltering the absconder Union Carbide, Dow Chemical is itself a racist company that applies different values to the lives of Americans and Indian children.

We are ashamed of the Government of India’s stance of welcoming Dow to the country, and want to make it clear to the residents of Bhopal that the Government may be wrong, but the people of India believe in their struggle, and the children of Chennai will not sit idle when Dow tries to go about business as usual.

We are also appalled at the insensitivity and greed of the management of the Citi Center who are willing to provide space to criminals and those who poison children. Some of us are regular visitors to Citi Center. But we will boycott Citi Center and will encourage our friends and family to do the same.

We urge you to evict Dow Chemical and issue a press statement to that effect.

Sincerely,

(all of us signed)

and below is the press report :

Evict Dow from Citi Center: Kids tell mall owners

3 December, 2007. CHENNAI -- Marking the 23^rd anniversary of the 1984 Bhopal gas disaster, more than 150 Chennai children aged between 12 and 16 gathered at the central lobby of the Citi Center mall to demand for the eviction of Dow Chemical from the premises. Dow Chemical, the new owner of Union Carbide, has an office in the 6^th Floor of the upmarket mall in Mylapore. Union Carbide, which was declared an absconder by a criminal court in Bhopal in 1991, was taken over by Dow Chemical in 2001. Dow has refused to produce Union Carbide in court, even while providing an avenue for Carbide to continue profiting from sales in the Indian market without threat of arrest. With the help of industry leaders like Ratan Tata and Mukesh Ambani, Dow has managed to win the favour of the Prime Minister’s office which has promised to write off Dow’s liabilities in Bhopal if the company invests heavily in India.

“We are ashamed of the Government of India’s stance of welcoming Dow to the country, and want to make it clear to the residents of Bhopal that the people of India believe in their struggle, and the children of Chennai will not sit idle when Dow tries to go about business as usual,” said a spokesperson for the children who are organized as “Chennai for Bhopal.”

In February 2007, Dow Chemical was fined $300,000 by a US Government agency for having paid Rs. 80 lakhs in bribes to Indian officials to license a pesticide that was banned in the US because of its harmful effects on children’s brains. The company continues to market this pesticide which is called Dursban.

The children, many of whom are regular visitors to the Citi Center mall, said they will boycott the unethical mall and will encourage their other friends to do the same. “If the people in control of Citi Center have children, we believe they will take our actions in the right spirit and evict Dow from their premises,” the children said.

The children also distributed pamphlets that alerted other shops in Citi Center that their neighbour – Dow Chemical/Union Carbide – was a murderer charged with the murder of more than 8000 people in the Bhopal disaster.

On December 3, 1984, a poisonous gas leaked from Union Carbide’s underdesigned pesticide factory in Bhopal. At least 500,000 people were exposed to the poisonous gases that night. Union Carbide ran away to its home country, the United States of America, leaving behind thousands of tons of toxic wastes in and around its factory premises. The wastes have leached poisons into the groundwater. More than 25000 people consume the contaminated groundwater for want of a clean alternative. The incidence of birth defects and congenital deformities in the community is alarmingly high.

(the article is not all that great but it's better than nothing. i don't like them referring to us as children*****)

i guess that's all and i guess there'll be sequels to this article

***** personal opinion... no offense meant!!!

thank you
sangeetha